Parenting Stress Q: "Parenting Burn-Out!--How do I find peace when my kids are contantly fighting?"
By award-winning author and stress-relief expert Susie Mantell
You've described a tough family situation. And unfortunately, not an uncommon state of affairs in today's culture. Kids are feeling stress too...and in fact, one of my upcoming newsletters will be on that very topic. The actual sibling squabbling is really something best addressed by
an expert in that field--maybe even a classroom teacher or school psychologist could offer some free advice in restoring "peace in the land". If not, you could look in adult ed listings or a community bulletin board at your public library for help. Or...maybe a session or two with a pediatric psychologist for some guidelines. Somehow some household are calmer and more cooperative environments than others, and I know there is good help available to stop a destructive pattern of behavior before it goes too far.
Now..for you:
For many people, juggling responsibilities of work, family, home, health --and remember recreation? -- is a daunting task. And often our personal needs fall at the bottom of our "to do" list. One of the first things I say to people is to take a look at nutrition and exercise in their lives. With
particular attention to sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. But the advent of 24-hour-everything -- phone, fax, FedEx and email -- has our world spinning very fast. Perhaps finding very brief respites in small portions throughout your day is going to be the only way, for the moment, that you can get the breaks that you need.
Realistic expectations are very important, so that relaxation techniques and stress management can fit within personal lifestyles and belief systems. Is there a way for you to
get out to dinner with a friend once in a while? Or better yet, close the door to your room (obviously, knowing your children are well-supervised) and take mini-meditation breaks. Inhaling, cool white light... exhaling through the shoulders... Even curling up with a magazine for five minutes,
if you can't read the whole thing, may give you a little break.
Spend some time browsing around our website and look at the tips and previous q's and a's that might be very helpful on the following pages:
http://www.relaxintuit.com/tips.asp
http://www.relaxintuit.com/ask.asp
IN THE MEANTIME:
Take 2-3 minute mini-breaks once per hour in your work day, and commit yourself to doing a minimum of one fun thing every single day, without exception.
A few to try...
-Call up an old friend
-Take yourself to a funny movie (or a tearjerker! Crying is a great release.)
-Get some moderate, pleasurable exercise
-Watch a goofy TV show
-Organize a pile/drawer/closet (not fun until afterwards)
-Buy yourself flowers
-Do something kind for someone else
-Take a long, hot bath
-Go out for a nice, healthy-but-really-delicious meal
-Get hugged
-Dance like crazy...all by yourself
-Listen to music you love
-Go someplace beautiful..a drive, museum, garden
-Many people find great relief in acupuncture, massage or other body/energy work, the bouancy of swimming ....
-Identify the specifics stressors you can actually anticipate and see if any can be avoided or deminished.
-Limit alcohol, caffeine and sugar consumption. All can aggravate stress and depression.
-Try a mind-body visualization in which you actually imagine the "fog"
softening...dissolving..receding ...dissipating into the air in whisps of smoke....
-You might want to try my audio,"Your Present: A Half-Hour of Peace". It's used in hospitals for depression and anxiety, and might be helpful too.
-Journal about your feelings.
-Do something small each day for someone else--Small.
Maybe feed an expired parking meter for a stranger!
-Let people love you.
[Copyright 2000, 2008 Susie Mantell, Relax. . .Intuit (tm) LLC. All rights reserved.] Federal law prohibits use of this material in whole or in part without the express written consent of Relax...Intuit™ LLC. For Reprint Permission: Kindly email your request for guidelines, pasting in the full text of the specific article you wish to use, to info@relaxintuit.com We'll try to reply within 72 hrs.]
Award-winning stress-relief expert Susie Mantell ...is the author of the deeply soothing relaxation CD, "Your Present: A Half-Hour of Peace,” clinically approved for symptoms associated with stress and sleeplessness, depression and grief, anxiety, P.T.S.D., Fibromyalgia, caregiver stress, cancer, pain, divorce and addiction recovery. Featured in The Los Angeles Times, NBC, ABC, CBS-TV, Town & Country, The American Pain Society, Hazelden and The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, listeners include The Mayo Clinic, Memorial Sloan-Kettering, The Betty Ford Center, V.A. Hospitals,and Canyon Ranch (#1 Spa.) Customizing stress-reduction for Fortune 500 companies, distinguished hospitals and spas, Mantell has facilitated thousands in relieving health-related, work-related, chronic or traumatic stress. Her multi-sensory, mind-body techniques appear in national media, medical and corporate publications. Susie Mantell's Stress-Relief & Wellness Tips are intended as an adjunct to, not a substitute for, professional health care. Order “Your Present: A Half-Hour of Peace” and find more of Mantell’s stress-relief tips at www.relaxintuit.com